- Scientific evidence for arse covering extremis - 2nd June 2020
- Castle Lockdowngate - 28th May 2020
- Clap Clap - 24th May 2020
‘These are unprecedented times…!‘ No they bloody well are not. As cattle …we know!
Dearly Beloved Sheeple
Post virus lockdown the time is fast approaching for an invasion by neighbouring flocks of sheeple galloping away from their pens and descending like locusts consuming the green green grass of home pastures and fields.This has been encouraged by no less than the Prime Shepherd himself. Is this a diabolical cunning plan to restock the indigenous hardy native sheeple with the pampered poodles of the Home Counties? We don’t know but the suspicion is there.
This is unacceptable! Measures must be taken!
Strict existing legislation must be enforced. These invaders must wear electronic bluetooth activated ear tags so that their meat can be traced and their whereabouts monitored by spy drones and GPS monitoring.
They must be daubed with paint splotches to show that they have been properly dipped against disease!
The toll booths at the Severn Bridge should be re-erected and as each sheeple enters they must be sprayed. The daubing spray colour should denote their disease status: post-virus (green), potential virus (pink); positive virus test (red); unknown (purple). All purple and pink sprayed animals to be turned away. All red tested or old animals sent to a nearby abbatoir.
Our Editor Phil Parry’s memories of his astonishing award-winning career in journalism as he was gripped by the incurable disabling condition Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia (HSP), have been released in a major new book ‘A GOOD STORY’. Order the book now!
If you need something to keep the children entertained during these uncertain times (in Welsh) try Ffwlbart Ffred about the amusing stories of Ffred and his pet